they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
