dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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