i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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