"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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