Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
