I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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