Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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