yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
