direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
