wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
