I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize