This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
