I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
