this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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