Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
