just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
