He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
