Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
