god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize