I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
