If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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