my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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