feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
