At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
