He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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