So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
