Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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