i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
