Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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