worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
