his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
