miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
