If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
