you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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