i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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