Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
