and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
