we have pet lesbian snakes
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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