What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
