This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Come see our sink grown plant.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
