We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
