Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
