garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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