Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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