No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
