we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
