Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
