i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I didn't notice because vodka
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
