I just cut my nipple shaving
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
