Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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