Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
