Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
