He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Of course I have a pirate flag
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
