where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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