Having a random hookup so left but love u
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
