Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
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