I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
