My first STD was from a foam party
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
