Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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